To begin with, let’s set up that having excessive requirements in relationships shouldn’t be a foul factor. Everybody deserves to be pleased, and everyone seems to be free to outline what which means for them.
If that signifies that you received’t accept something aside from a doppelgänger of your favourite film star with the character of a saint — so be it. It’s all good.
It solely turns into an issue if you don’t understand that your requirements are too excessive. And if they’re (and also you don’t), hopefully this text can assist.
1. You’ve by no means had a long-term relationship
You might need had many good friendships, many quick relationships, however by no means one thing that will stick for some time. Not inherently unhealthy, but when the frequent thread is that “no one was ok and there’s one thing fallacious with them” contemplate they possibly your requirements is likely to be too excessive. It’s completely potential you’ve simply been unfortunate with the folks you’ve met, but additionally — possibly not?
2. You decide folks lots
Usually talking, being judgmental isn’t a great character trait to have. And it’s one factor in case you’re judgmental, you realize about it, and also you’re wonderful with it. It’s a totally completely different factor in case you’re judgmental and it’s getting in the way in which of you assembly new folks, making new buddies, and beginning new relationships. In case your knee-jerk response is to guage folks and instantly search for what’s fallacious with them, you’re going to have a tricky time avoiding loneliness. Simply be sure you don’t overcorrect. It’s higher to be judgmental than don’t have any “filter” for the folks you’re spending your time with.
3. You have got requirements you’re not even conscious of
Like I’ve mentioned earlier — excessive requirements should not a foul factor. You’ll be able to have excessive requirements and reside your life with them in thoughts, on the lookout for individuals who meet them. What’s terrible is when you have got requirements you’re not even conscious of. If you happen to haven’t completed the introspection little bit of considering “who’s proper for me” then you definitely’ll continually be hitting an invisible wall of discovering stuff you don’t like about folks at random moments.
4. You don’t give folks possibilities
Not giving folks possibilities comes hand in hand with being judgmental. Or at the very least it will probably. And never giving folks possibilities isn’t nice. Requirements, generally, are good as a “filter”, however it is likely to be unreasonable to anticipate any person excellent to return by and meet all of them. Be looking out for individuals who meet most of them and provides them an opportunity.
5. You solely ever look in a single place
You may solely be on the lookout for folks in a single place. It is likely to be your campus, your place of business, your neighborhood, or on-line communities with individuals who get pleasure from the identical stuff you get pleasure from. Nevertheless, if “proximity” is without doubt one of the requirements in your guide, you’re actually narrowing down the quantity of those that you can turn out to be buddies with. Broaden your horizons! There’s so many fish within the sea (so to talk).
6. what you need
Ultimately, figuring out what you need is an efficient factor. It’s at all times higher to have excessive requirements relatively than no requirements in any respect. There’s no strategy to be pleased in case you simply accept the very first thing that comes your means, it doesn’t matter what that’s. It’s a must to have requirements and you need to have wholesome boundaries. So, even in case you discover that having excessive requirements is changing into an issue for you — don’t beat your self up about it.