No one likes somebody who’s at all times obtainable. The place’s the enjoyable in that? Irrespective of how a lot you need to spend time along with your associate, being too obtainable can have its downfalls.
In case you are too obtainable, you could appear needy, such as you don’t have a lifetime of your individual—which can put you in danger for being taken as a right. The previous technique of “taking part in onerous to get” comes into impact a little bit bit in relation to availability; much less is normally extra.
The chase is a part of human nature. Everyone loves the act of making an attempt to “get” somebody. In the event that they know they’ve already acquired you and might have you ever every time they please, the curiosity goes away pretty rapidly.
Often, this isn’t very onerous to find, as a result of there are a variety of indicators that you simply’re approach too obtainable. Listed here are among the indicators you need to be aware of:
1 “Sure” frequents your vocabulary
If you happen to’re continuously saying sure to the whole lot your new squeeze asks or needs to do, then you definately’re too obtainable. Don’t you might have your individual plans? Don’t you simply need to curl up on the sofa and watch a film, as an alternative of going to some lame automotive present?
2 You instantly reply to any name or textual content
Umm…you’re within the bathe. You shouldn’t be texting again when you’re within the bathe. It is a huge signal that you simply’re too obtainable. It’s okay to answer straight away when you’re not busy with something, however when you’re in the course of getting your enamel cleaned on the dentist and need to spit in your hygienist so as to talk, you’ve acquired points.
3 You apologize for lacking texts/calls
The second you see a missed name since you had been in a gathering and even simply taking a fast nap, do you name again and instantly begin apologizing and explaining your self? Truthfully, this sounds extra determined than you being good. As an alternative, say a fast, “Oh sorry, what did you want?” It makes you far more mysterious and truly makes it appear to be you might have a life outdoors of your vital different.
4 You provoke many of the conversations
Texting him a number of occasions a day and chatting about his day appears not solely too obtainable, however barely determined as effectively. If you happen to’re busy with your individual life—as you have to be—then you definately shouldn’t have time to textual content 50 occasions a day.
5 You settle for final minute dates
It’s Friday evening at 4 PM, and he calls *which you choose up on the primary ring, after all* and asks if you wish to do dinner at 6. Despite the fact that you already threw in a pizza and had ready to lie on the sofa *in PJs, stuffing your face* you excitedly say, “After all,” flip off the oven, and head straight to the bathe. That is actually an indication that you simply’re approach too obtainable.
6 You allow them to reschedule final minute
However, maybe it’s 6 PM and also you’re freshly showered however get a textual content saying one thing “got here up.” Now you’re left to vary BACK into your PJs and attempt to down a half-cooked pizza.
Yeah, it’s no enjoyable, however you graciously reply again *instantly, I could add*, “No biggie!” and get on along with your boring evening. Letting your vital different reschedule issues on the final minute with out fuss doesn’t imply you’re “understanding.” It means you’re too obtainable and don’t thoughts the random shift in plans. Let him know his canceled plans are off-putting; you aren’t a doormat.
7 You cancel plans with your folks after they need to do one thing
I’m extraordinarily responsible of this one, nevertheless it’s inexcusable. If you cancel plans you’ve made with your folks simply because your associate needs to do lunch, it’s a certain signal you’re too obtainable. Telling them no each from time to time is okay. In actual fact, it’s a superb factor!