It’s factor to set excessive requirements for your self and others, however perfectionism takes this fashion too far.
You find yourself anticipating means an excessive amount of, setting the bar so excessive that nobody might ever attain them. This results in failure and unfavorable behavioral patterns, particularly in relationships.
Right here’s how you may find yourself ruining yours.
You have got an unrealistic concept of how issues are purported to be
You anticipate every part in your relationship to be sunshine and rainbows. You don’t like when issues go improper, like once you combat, as a result of this bursts your bubble of idealism. You assume your accomplice is meant to be a sure means and this expectation is driving a wedge between you two. You have got unrealistic expectations of your accomplice that they will by no means meet.
You don’t do nicely with modifications in plans
You need issues to be simply so and any variations from the plan completely freak you out. You’re undoubtedly not one to be spontaneous. In reality, spontaneity form of freaks you out. In case your accomplice tries to spring a shock on you or change the plans, you don’t deal with it nicely. It’s because you need to have some semblance of management over conditions.
You evaluate your relationship to different individuals’s
Your relationship isn’t sufficient, particularly once you’re stacking it towards what you assume another person’s is like. Actually, you haven’t any concept what different individuals’s relationships are like on a day-to-day foundation, but you’ll be able to’t assist however to want yours was extra like theirs. You assume that you just two are doing one thing improper as a result of it doesn’t look nearly as good.
5. You anticipate perfection out of your accomplice
Not solely do you anticipate perfection from your self, however it seeps over into what you anticipate out of your accomplice, too. When your accomplice makes a mistake you’re actually arduous on them identical to you might be on your self. You virtually anticipate them by no means to make errors as a result of issues ought to be as good as potential. In the meantime, you’re additionally making errors.
You retain rating
Every time your accomplice does one thing improper, you remember it. You have got a listing of issues they’ve carried out improper and also you return to that listing typically. You utilize this as ammo once you make a mistake, coming again to all of the issues your accomplice has carried out or not carried out to make use of towards them. You additionally act passive-aggressively about their errors.
You attempt to management your accomplice
Whether or not it’s what your accomplice wears or who they hang around with, you attempt to have a hand in making these choices. You assume that you realize finest even when it’s not your life. This drives a accomplice bonkers as a result of they’re simply making an attempt to do their very own factor. Your lack of ability to let go and allow them to dwell their life could be the downfall of you two.
You’re are fast to criticize
You’ve received issues all mapped out in your head. You have got an concept of what every part is meant to seem like and when issues go awry you aren’t pleased. You criticize your accomplice typically, leaving them feeling fairly crummy about themselves. Typically you will have one of the best of intentions, but your execution communicates solely criticism.